ManPurse
by Stormey Night
Summary: McGee has a man-purse and Tony makes fun of it until he actually sees what a man-purse is capable of. Jibbs is hinted and this is a psychodrabble crack fic not meant to be taken seriously.


*Okay first I own nothing NCIS is not mine in any way. I'm a college student….  
*This is just a little piece of psycho drabble that would not leave me alone all day until I did something with it. NOTHING about this is serious. It is a crack-fic.  
*We all know Tim McGee is Mr. MIT and Biochem at Johns. Hopkins…he puts that knowledge to use.  
*Also I know the koala smuggled onto a submarine was before Ziva came back...in this story she never left and Jenny is still alive and well.

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It was early just like any other day at NCIS and Ziva was already in the squad room typing away at her computer when Tony and Tim came in at the same time. Tony had his coffee and McGee had something but was just waiting for Tony to say something.

"What's up McGeek you forget your McMuffin or McBreakfast this morning?" Tony taunted as he took off his jacket and sat down to fire up his computer.

"Actually Tony I have it right here." McGee said with a sarcastic smile as he opened what Tony dubbed his 'man-purse" and pulled out a silver platter with two eggs some bacon and a blueberry muffin. He set that on an open area of his desk and reached in for a hot plate and put the pot of coffee on it. With a smile he pulled out his 'neverland' coffee mug and poured the coffee into it.

"What on planet?!" Ziva exclaimed from across the room as she stood and gave McGee a surprised look.

"It's 'what on Earth' Ziva and how did you McDo that McGee?" Tony asked as he made his way over to McGee's desk in record time and took the man-purse from McGee and looked inside only to have a large furry object jump out at him. "Jethro?!" Tony yelled as he ran back to his desk obviously worried.

"Aww I always knew guys carried cool things in those man-purses. I figured out sub space a few years ago. That's how I can keep so many things hidden in my purse and find them at random times." Abby piped up as she sat down on the floor and scratched Jethro's belly.

"Ah so sub-space is the American term, at Mossad we just simply called it hiding. That's how I can hide so many weapons on my body at once." Ziva explained as she joined Abby on the floor with Jethro.

"It's been used in autopsy for decades. That's how the doors turn into compartments to store the bodies." Ducky explained as he walked up to Tony's desk.

"Send the dog home McGee. This is work" Gibbs said as he strolled into the office with his coffee. He did however stop to pet Jethro before continuing onto his desk.

"Come on Jethro go home!" McGee called to the dog as he opened the bag up for the dog to run into but stopped before Tony followed.

The senior field agent just looked up at McGee and for a minute he looked like a sad dog. "It's like E.T flown home...right?" He asked with a confused look.

"No Tony, you made fun of the man purse when McGee first got it." Abby replied as she stood up and went with Ducky back to the lower levels.

"How did you think I got the boat out of my basement DiNozzo? Magic?" Gibbs replied with a smirk as he answered his phone." Gear up, some idiot smuggled a koala onto a submarine!" he yelled as everyone went into autopilot and grabbed their suff.

Tony followed the others to the elevator and before the doors shut he swore he saw McGee's man-purse just lay there taunting him and mocking him. _This is going to be a long day._ He thought as the elevator doors closed.

The next day Tony strolled into NCIS with an even bigger holier than thou demeanor than before because slung across his body was a brown leather Armani man-purse. "Look McOggle I brought breakfast." Tony declared as he pulled out a pot of coffee and handed a silver platter to a stunned Ziva and McGee. "By the way thanks for the sub space tip yesterday. It takes you guys years to figure it out and I do it in a few hours." The senior field agent replied as a blonde wearing a bikini popped out almost causing the silver platters that McGee and Ziva were holding to fall.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked as he walked into the office. "Put Bambi or Bunny or whatever her name is away until after work." The boss never made eye contact as he sat at his desk and a dejected Bambi crawled back into Tony's man-purse. All Gibbs could do was smirk, he had Jenny in his man-purse but she knew to stay hidden.

END


End file.
